“You’re not doing this TO me, you’re like this with everybody in your life. I don’t have to be angry about it. I can just try to figure out a situation where both of us can thrive.”
“Make it clear you are credible.”
“Offer value. Demonstrate how you can help.”
“Highlight what makes you interesting. Successful people like connecting to other interesting people. Because it’s fun.”
“Position yourself as a peer who is notable in your own right.”
“Make it clear you have no expectations. You get extra points for empathy. Too many people reach out with an extraordinary level of entitlement: free things, introductions, a lot of time. Show an awareness of their circumstances.”
“Learn by the act of doing. Rather than theory or conceptualizing. Or what too many of us do, too much research. Procrastination disguised as research.”
“Working is the most dangerous form of procrastination. It feels productive and it’s endless”
“Don’t let the perfect enemy of good. Do something.”
“Action is a way to move right through fear. You’ll feel it. You’re never going to not feel fear. Once you take action, you’ll gain momentum. Momentum is a secret super power that can make almost anything happen.”
“Action is the antidote to anxiety. You’re very anxious about getting started. Just getting started itself gets you over that anxiety. The it’s underway.”
“Action is the antidote to fear. Most of the time, once we get into the action of doing something it’s actually fun. I’m learning, growing and I can figure it out”
“Even if it goes wrong, I can correct it because it’s not a fantasy.”
“Being indiscreet to force a relationship int a closer space a little more quickly. If that’s a tactic that’s effective for you and you’re prepared to suffer the consequences for being too forward or pushy, that’s a choice you get to make.
“Be intelligent about knowing that’s a choice. There might be consequences as well as rewards for choosing to do that.
“The risk is great. The risk is really hurting someone as topics get more personal. You want to be firmly aware of that.”
“Having testing tactics for conversations is not in the best respectful or considerate categories really when it comes to our behavior with one another.
“The goal really should be to find ways open conversations that are natural and comfortable for people. Based on cues that they’re giving. Rather than pushing boundaries or trying to make people uncomfortable purposefully.”
“You can go there, sure. Be prepared to suffer the consequences. Rather than opening something you, you may close a door completely.”
“I remember that so vividly. The nervousness I felt … going into that mostly Harvard room of writers, who had all worked on TV before, and feeling so overwhelmed and being so nervous I was going to get fired every day, for like a year.”
“I don’t think it would even be possible to have a writers’ room that looked the way that it did when I was starting out … and I think that would be a real problem for a lot of different people involved at the studio and the network that that would happen, so that’s, I think, really nice. I know there are still some rooms that are like that but it’s becoming more and more obsolete, which is great.”
“I feel happy that people think it’s timely because I’ve been working on it for a long time. ”
“I love writing about inclusiveness and employment, about intersectional feminism — those are the kind of things that are interesting to me to write about. I literally feel so lucky that it’s the kind of thing that you’re reading about in the newspapers.”
“For example, if you know it is good for you to go out to relax for an evening with a friend and your spouse is upset with you for going, your emotions will tell you to stay home. If you were detached, you would say, “I can’t make him/her think or feel differently and going to a movie with a friend is good for me. I am going to keep my plan to go out and detach from him/her being upset with me for taking care of myself.” When you act as if, you go to the movie, even though you are thinking about your spouse being upset and worried about it. Later after you feel detached, you are able to let go of the emotions while you are out.
“Faking it till ya make it is healthy with detachment because detachment is a healthy behavior that we have trouble doing in difficult relationships. Faking it, ie, denying emotions and pretending things are okay, is not. Do you get the difference?”
“It’s pleasant to think an ideas brilliance is self evident and doesn’t require the theater of marketing.
“But whether you’re an academic, screen writer, or entrepreneur, the difference between a brilliant new idea with bad marketing and a mediocre idea with excellent marketing can be the difference between bankruptcy and success.
“The trick is learning to frame your new ideas as tweaks of old ideas.
“Mix a little fluency with disfluency. To make your audience see the familiarity behind the surprise.”
Derek Thompson, Hit Makers
“People have a mistaken notion that they’re going to arrive at some point where it’s going to be easy.” Marie Forleo
“You’re never going to arrive at that point.” Steven Pressfield
“There is this veil. People have this mistaken notion that the people in the game… that they have some magical mystical thing that they don’t.”
“To look at it in a positive way. Resistance is the villain in the movie. If there’s no villain, there’s no movie. Resistance gives meaning. If it was just there and you just had to pick it up, it wouldn’t mean anything.”
“Love of self, love of other: two strands in the love braid.
“I have braided these strands together in all sorts of relationships, in varying degrees of grace and ineptitude.
“I’ve messed up in both directions: being self-centered, being a martyr; not knowing my own worth, not valuing the essential worth of the other.
“To love well is to get the balance right. It’s the work of a lifetime. It’s art.
“In this world of coaching and personal development and experts, I think the old model was all about some Sage On The Stage.
“That’s always how I like to characterize it where someone was standing up there and pretending like they have all the answers and they never make any mistakes.
“They’re gonna bestow upon you this wisdom and guide you to the promised land.
“First of all, I think all of that is bullshit. I think it’s so inauthentic. It is not true.
“Every single one of us is a work in progress. We are all learning. We’re all trying our best. We will all face challenges.
“Not only the ones that we had in our past, but there are ones coming up in the future.
“I always like to describe myself never as a sage on the stage and always as a Guide On The Side. What does that mean?
“That means I’m someone who is really enthusiastic first of all about learning. Second of all, about using ideas for myself to see what works and what doesn’t. Then third, with sharing those ideas, the things I think are valuable with folks who might also be interested and might also want to try these things.”