“The fact that something feels awkward is not in itself a sign that you shouldn’t be saying it.” Alison Green

“The fact that something feels awkward is not in itself a sign that you shouldn’t be saying it.

“Sometimes things are just awkward and that is just how they’re going to go.

“In this case, she is making it awkward not you. You’ve tried nicely hinting and she’s refusing to pick up on what you’re saying. You’ve tried giving the benefit of the doubt. You’ve tried being kind.

“You’re going to have to be blunt. I know lots of people really really don’t like doing that because it feels rude.

“I want to emphasize: You are not the one being rude here.

“She’s forcing you to be more direct than you’d normally want to be.

“The Captain Awkward advice blog calls this ‘Returning awkwardness to sender’

“Putting the awkward where it originated from. There’s nothing wrong with: This bothers me, can you stop it.”

Source: Ask a Manager – My Coworker Gets Away with Everything | Listen via Stitcher Radio On Demand

“If I believe I can do it, I can do it. But even if I don’t end up doing it, I’ll probably do better because I believed I could.” Jack – son of Elizabeth Craft

“If I believe I can do it, I can do it. But even if I don’t end up doing it, I’ll probably do better because I believed I could.” Jack – son of Elizabeth Craft

Source: Happier with Gretchen Rubin – Ep. 193: Have You Ever Felt Your Personality Slip? | Listen via Stitcher Radio On Demand

“In segments about conflicts between Oscar and the others on the street, the show taught how children might cope with diversity in the context of school desegregation.”

“In segments about conflicts between Oscar and the others on the street, the show taught how children might cope with diversity in the context of school desegregation.”

“1. It’s okay to be different;”
“2. One man’s trash is another grouch’s treasure;”
“3. Embrace who you are and be yourself;”
“4. Just because you’re grouchy, doesn’t mean you can’t also be kind;”
“5. Emotions can be confusing.”

It’s not unkind to be honestly irritable. You can be disinterested in a subject of conversation.

While we try to be kind, it’s also okay to be like… welp can’t provide what you’re looking for right now.

Oscar is a great character who is really in tune with what he can provide. (1)Holds his own in being different. (2) Embracing his own views of what’s valuable (3) Stays true to himself (4) Takes risks in expressing himself (5) Explores the variety of challenging emotions <3

Source: In Praise of Oscar the Grouch

“When you present a performance, all you’re waiting for is a response to it. The response might be positive and reassuring. It might also be … terrible. The hard part is the next take, the next performance, the next day.” Julia Roberts

“When you present a performance, all you’re waiting for is a response to it. The response might be positive and reassuring. It might also be … terrible. The hard part is the next take, the next performance, the next day. To still be able to go to a place of exposing your feelings and showing what is the truth of what you’re trying to perform. And setting aside the risk of failure.”

Julia Roberts

Source: Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations – Julia Roberts: Daring and Vulnerable, Part 1

“Also, expect things to work out. Then, when things go wrong, you’ll keep pushing through. Because when you expect things to work out, you’ll surely think any setbacks are just temporary.” Stever Robbins

“Luck is the opportunity you aren’t expecting. If you want lots of chance opportunities, you have to plan to make them happen.”

“It’s really easy to get into a routine, day after day. The good news of routines is that they don’t take much thought. The bad news is that the same things happen day after day after day. They’re…routine.”

“Attract luck by being open to new experiences”

“Just being open to new experiences isn’t enough, however. You need to look around enough to notice those opportunities.”

“If you expect to be lucky, you’ll be much more apt to discover opportunity knocking at your door. Expect luck. Even if it’s unrealistic, expect it anyway. ”

“Also, expect things to work out. Then, when things go wrong, you’ll keep pushing through. Because when you expect things to work out, you’ll surely think any setbacks are just temporary.”

Source: 4 (Science-Backed) Tips on Being More Lucky

“How to be a great conversationalist … Your job is often to be a good listener” Daniel Post Senning

“How to be a great conversationalist … Your job is often to be a good listener. If you’re talking to 1 other person, your share of the conversation pie is about 50%. You get to talk about half the time. You’re getting to listen about 1/2 the time also

“As soon as there’s 3 people, your share of that pie as a talker gets smaller. It drops to about a 1/3. You’re listening twice as much as talking. You’re 2/3 and talking a 1/3 if you’re lucky.

“With 4 people, you’re listening 3 times as much as you’re talking. It’s amazing how important listening skills are as part of a conversation.

“There’s a little checklist that I give people for checking in on your own active listening. Are you physically engaged? Are you looking someone in the eye? Are you smiling? Are you relaxed and attentive, present with other people you are with? Are you showing that in the way that you hold yourself?”

“That’s the someone I’d want to be around. That’s the kind of person you can feel comfortable with.”

“A little sparkle in your eye. Are you ready to smile if not grinning? Animated, moves a little when they talk, present in their body. Little nonverbal cues, nods, letting people know you’re listening. Repeat back what you heard. Mirroring and little ways you reflect.”

“The final act is to contribute something yourself and ask a follow up a question. That’s the fourth step. My advice: Notice when you arriving at that step and don’t do it. Hold yourself accountable. Don’t say that first thing. Don’t ask that first question? Don’t contribute that thing that you were going to interject. You get to contribute and it’s self-control.”

“Share a thought this conversation has inspired. And then bring the conversation back to what the other person is saying. Ask their perspective. Allow the person who initiated the conversation to be in the driver’s seat.”

“The simple mistake is me-too-ism. Let me tell you my version of that story. Common conversation mistake.”

“I cannot stand those conversations where it’s two people saying a thing in their own life. We’re not really talking about each other. We’re just sharing.”

“Maybe the ball has been passed to you. You find your moment to contribute.”

Source: Awesome Etiquette – Episode #215: Who’s Invited? | Listen via Stitcher Radio On Demand

“People think that personality traits and intelligence are static, but our brains are much more plastic and malleable than we realize, at any age.” Karla Starr

“I was surprised to find out how easily this can happen when we get information about ourselves. If a grade school teacher tells us that we’re not cut out for music, we learn that we’re no good. So So we’ll never practice, get more flustered when we do, and assume that improving is harder for us than others—even though getting better takes time for everyone. More often, however, we’ll just quit. We don’t realize how many aspects of our life are self-fulfilling prophecies, and the lengths that people will go to in order to avoid being wrong about themselves and the world, even when it might lead to positive change.”

“People think that personality traits and intelligence are static, but our brains are much more plastic and malleable than we realize, at any age. Personality traits also depend on the situation we find ourselves in: everyone becomes more conscientious when they’re about to finish a project they really want to complete, or more extroverted when they see a great friend they really want to catch up with. Our lifestyles and social environments shape what we think we’re capable of, especially the habits among p

Source: Gretchen Rubin

“You’d probably start laughing because you’d realize that your fears had been the result of a gigantic cosmic joke that had persisted throughout all of your previous reincarnations.” David D. Burns

“According to this legend, after you die, you’ll wake up in a dark place. Out of the darkness, a terrifying monster will suddenly appear. The monster will represent all the worst fears you’ve ever had. For each person, the monster will be different, since we all have different fears and vulnerabilities.

“When the monster appears, you’ll have two choices: You can try to get away, or you can surrender. If you try to get away, you will escape– but just barely–and soon you’ll be lost in the dark again.

“Out of the darkness, a second monster will emerge. This one will be almost as terrifying as the first, but not quite, and you’ll be faced with the same choice: surrender or flee. If you try to escape, you’ll succeed, but you’ll soon get yourself in the dark again. Every time you escape, another terrifying monster will appear,. Each monster will be slightly less terrifying than the one before, and if you run you’ll always barely manage to get away.

“According to the legend, the number of monsters you’ll have to confront depends on the number of days int he month when you die. … If you run away from all the monsters, you’ll be reincarnated as something very lowly, like a worm. If you surrender to one of the monsters, you’ll be reincarnated to a higher level. The scarier the monster you surrender to, the greater your status in your next life will be.

“In the event that you surrendered to the first and most terrifying monster, two things would happen. First, you’d discover that the monster was not real. You’d realize that it was just an illusion that you never had anything to fear in the first place. You’d see that the monster had no teeth. This would be an incredible triumph. The discovery might also seem incredibly funny, and you’d probably start laughing because you’d realize that your fears had been the result of a gigantic cosmic joke that had persisted throughout all of your previous reincarnations.”

David D. Burns, When Panic Attacks

Curious: One-word theme for Age 36

“If you look at a thing, the very fact of your looking changes it…if you think about yourself, that very fact changes you.” Robert Penn Warren (Flood: A Novel)

I hope to witness and workaround the downsides of curiosity: Doubtful skepticism. Overstepping. Self-destructiveness. Distraction. Blame.

I choose to act on the upsides of curiosity. Instead of presenting opposition, I’ll try to show I’m on your side, I’m on my side, and explore ideas with you.

I’m often surprised when I present an idea and it’s received conflicting. I tend to feel that most ideas are additive and compatible. The question to explore is how, when, and where an idea belongs in practical senses.

With purpose and repetition, I can gain skill in presenting a shared world of thoughts.

I love the one word theme years. In a word, I conjure up a version of myself.

A dog is trained to heel. In the same way, practice over a year – or even the idea of practice itself – that once felt hard becomes easily summoned with a single command.

Reviewing last year: Age 35 – Process:

Once you look at a series of actions and steps in our goals on such a small level, it can seem silly to not move forward.

I’ve discovered that I can identify easy steps to change. Overwhelmed by chores? Stand up. Look around.

Let myself view on a small level.

We can see the easy parts. Why change the hardest part when often it’ll change anyway by tackling something so easy?

There’s a downside to processes too. We convince ourselves that our actions remain so small that it must be neutral or good.

Once put into one context or another, that little moment can become something no longer valuable.

Let myself view at a higher altitude.

One word themes

  • 2018 Complete. (Level Up by Ciara)
  • 2017 Go. (Ready to Go by Panic at the Disco)
  • 2016 Listen (Listen by Beyonce).
  • Age 36 Curious (Witness by Katy Perry)
  • Age 35: Process (Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz)
  • Age 34: Balance (The Middle by Jimmy Eat World)