“Think more about: What would you do to get closer to your goal? Things that you can check on if you’re doing. “Action items. Make action items. Concrete manageable action that you can make tomorrow.” Gretchen Rubin

“Putting something on your list like ‘lose 50lbs’ or ‘learn spanish’. Those are outcomes. We can’t control outcomes. We can control actions.

“Translate that into an action that you’re going to follow. Like ‘Quit Sugar’ or ‘No more fast food.’ Put that on your list. You can’t wake up tomorrow and lose 50lbs. You can wake up tomorrow and not go to a fast food joint.

“Learn Spanish? That’s a gigantic goal. What are you asking of yourself? It might be: Watch one YouTube video a day. Or use DuoLingo consistently. It’s unlikely that putting ‘Learn Spanish’ on a list is going to help.

“Think more about: What would you do to get closer to your goal? Things that you can check on if you’re doing.

“Action items. Make action items. Concrete manageable action that you can make tomorrow.”

Grethen Rubin

Source: Happier with Gretchen Rubin Episode 203: Plan Your 19 for 2019 

2019 Theme: ACCEPT

My one word theme for 2019 is ACCEPT.

I notice when others push against reality – idealization, disbelief, and outright denial. This is a cue for my desire to accept others, situations, and myself as they are. Feel as I am.

Accept that many things and people won’t be ideal. Believe others with supportive curiosity rather than doubtful skepticism.

With acceptance, I get to decide how I deal with that reality.

I can accepting present myself and still work toward my future self.

For 2018, my theme was COMPLETE

Where I am is the most complete version of me.

As I suspected, thinking of endings often leads me to feel my own resistance. I can complete by starting. Think of a new beginning, a fresh start.

I also enjoy reflecting after something is done rather than looking forward to a finish line

2017 was Go. Starting new things, projects, meeting new people, taking on new commitments.
2016 was Listen. As much as I want to be a creative force, more often I need to use what’s already there.

Songs:
2019 / Accept – “Autobiography” by Ashlee Simpson
2018 / Complete – “Level Up” by Ciara
2017 / Go – “Ready to Go” by Panic at the Disco
2016 / Listen – “Listen” by Beyonce
Age 36 / Curious – :Witness” Katy Perry
Age 35 / Process – “Life is Wonderful” by Jason Mraz
Age 34 / Balance – “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World

“Being open to new experiences and talking to strangers. Both are outside of my comfort zone but I’ve found that the more I reach out and engage—interacting with the world around me—the more fulfilled I feel in every aspect of my life.” Helen Russell

“Being open to new experiences and talking to strangers. Both are outside of my comfort zone but I’ve found that the more I reach out and engage—interacting with the world around me—the more fulfilled I feel in every aspect of my life.” Helen Russell

“That the lows are all part of it and that we also need fallow periods to just be. I grew up in the 1980s and 90s where the pace of life was fast and if you weren’t aiming for the top (of everything) you weren’t aiming high enough. But life is filled with sadness as well as joy and not every day will be unicorns skipping with rainbows. This is something I’ve learned with age and through my research into happiness and the cultural differences in what ‘a good life’ means around the world.” Helen Russell

Source: Gretchen Rubin

“Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows.” Walt Disney, Deeds Rather Than Words (1963)

“Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows.” Walt Disney, Deeds Rather Than Words (1963)

It stings for sure when someone says “You’re not perfect!” – to be clear I believe this is a perfectly good and kind for them to do.

I want to wear my faults loudly.

Be around people who are able to speak loudly about my problems and their own problems too. (Not in a pity party kind of way. In a ’Hey that’s so cool!’ kind of way.)

You’re right there are some flaws in the way I behave!! That’s not the worst thing in the world. If I’m aware of it, there’s the potential for the lesson to reveal itself.

There’s nothing duller than a day without enough risks that didn’t pay off.

Source: Wednesday with Walt: Deeds Rather Than Words – MOUSENAPPED!

“This notion of being loyal to an institution doesn’t make any sense to me. You should be loyal to people that treat you well.” Scott Galloway

“I never understood the notion of being loyal to an institution. An institution is an inanimate legal construct filed in Delaware. You should be loyal to people.

“When I see people talk about making career decisions over their loyalty to institutions, that’s a construct built into our society mostly so young people would go put themselves in harm’s way to maintain the land of older rich people.

“This notion of being loyal to an institution doesn’t make any sense to me. You should be loyal to people that treat you well.”

Source: Pivot with Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway – The U.K. piles on Facebook | Listen via Stitcher Radio On Demand

“This is the heart of design thinking. It isn’t about becoming your perfect self. It’s about looking very honestly at your circumstances and asking what room you have to maneuver.” Dave Evans

“This is the heart of design thinking. It isn’t about becoming your perfect self. It’s about looking very honestly at your circumstances and asking what room you have to maneuver. Think about those designers in Silicon Valley. They’re always releasing programs in beta.

“The idea is you try something very practical, something you can do quickly, send it out into the world and then learn from how it performs. You come back, iterate and then go back into the world again.” – Dave Evans

“In fact, I liked what he said about with design thinking your goal is to fail early and often.”

Source: Design Thinking Could Help Those Who Want To Get Unstuck : NPR

“Let’s develop an understanding of the causes of a problem from their perspective. Rather than go in and say I have a theory, the design thinking route develops based on interactions with users and customers.” Cory Phelps

“Design thinking is another method for coming up with solutions that usually aren’t found through usual decision-making processes.”

“Design thinking says: First off let’s find out, who are the human beings experiencing this problem? Let’s talk to them, observe them, and immerse ourselves in their experience.

“Let’s develop an understanding of the causes of a problem from their perspective. Rather than go in and say I have a theory, the design thinking route develops based on interactions with users and customers.” – Cory Phelps

Source: The Right Way to Solve Complex Business Problems

“If you have the courage to look at your role, then it empowers you to change the situation around rapidly. By radically changing the way you respond to the other person.” David Burns

“If you have the courage to look at your role, then t empowers you to change the situation around rapidly. By radically changing the way you respond to the other person.”

“When you’re looking at your part of it, it’s not about beating yourself up. You don’t want to blame the other person and it’s not about pointing the finger at yourself and blaming yourself. It is about looking at: What am I contributing to the situation and dynamic.”

“It’s hard for people because they’re not subtle in their thinking. It’s their fault or my fault.”

“Blame is the cause of almost all relationship conflicts. The problem isn’t that this person is to blame, the problem is your blaming them. Every time you blame somebody, that will cause whatever you’re doing to escalate. It’s a law of the universe.

“Then you go to: I’m no good, that causes feelings of shame, depression, and worthlessness. People vacillate back and forth. We’re trying to get people to rise above this. Up above there’s accountability, empathy, and listening. Where there’s not a battle”

“A lot of people can’t get it or a lot don’t want to get it. They want to blame the other person. It’s very rewarding to blame other people. It makes you feel morally superior.”

Source: The website of David D. Burns, MD | 117: On the Path to Greater Intimacy— David’s Final Sparkling Interview with Stephanie James | Feeling Good