For my 35th year, my one-word goal is “Process”. I thought about ideas of acceptance, methods, planning, spontaneousness, and truth.
“Process” has a cool and useful double meaning:
(1) Accept facts and reality. In every moment there are infinite truths. You could spend the rest of your life describing every detail of a single object, a single moment, and a single memory if you wanted to. What moments are we giving our attention? What are the advantages and disadvantages of taking notice and interest in the places we are. The things we do have hidden good and bad qualities. If we become conscious of them, change and self-acceptance happen naturally.
(2) The steps involved. Anything difficult can be quickly broken down to ridiculously simple steps. Think of classical piano where you really start just knowing one note. As a microcosm for life, classical piano practice often means going so insanely slow that it would be just as hard to make a mistake as it would be to play the right notes
My one-word goal of “Balance” at age 34 helped me make hard things very easy. The habit noticing extremism, perfectionism, and excess in the world gets me to enjoy the gray areas of life. The one question of balance I love: “How can I do both?” We often place beliefs and ideals as if only one can be “right.” The truth is that all of our beliefs exist in the world simultaneously and we have to learn to live with it.
“We’re talking about us versus everyone else. How we act together or not to get things done. Can you say no to people and projects? Can you set boundaries so that you have enough space, energy and time for your own needs? "Can you ask people for things? Are you able to make requests – Are you able to make demands even where appropriate. Are you able to inform other people what you want from them? Not just articulate it, but stick to your guns. How much are you able to negotiate with other people to get what you need.” ... Read more
"Painful decisions are often painful largely because we haven't made them yet. Once we make a decision, we often wonder how we could have dreamed of choosing the other choice” “That’s true for all of us. We agonize between two things that seem awfully close. We finally choose one. And in a small or medium amount of time, we look back and wonder how we could ever have been trying to decide between them. Why did we make that mistake of thinking the two alternatives were so close when they really far apart? The answer is that they weren’t really ... Read more