“Make life more complicated. My urge is always to simplify. My impulse is to lighten the load. Then I would see people making their lives more complicated right at the very times when I would say:
“Why are you doing it now? That doesn’t make any sense at all. Then I realized it does make sense. Right when I have that feeling, why would someone do this, it makes no sense to me. That’s when you say to yourself it does make sense.
Why would someone do something. It does make sense to them. It’s a way to crowd out negative preoccupations and concerns. I have all of this tough stuff on my plate, let me bring more joy into my less and less room to feel sad.
“You have so much bandwidth in your day. If you have empty bandwidth, something’s going to fill into it. You’re going to worry, there’s only so much you can do about it.
“This is something fun. What works is something where you have a lot of control, immediate benefits, takes up mental space with tasks and errands, and something you find fun.”
"Negative feedback is a way of learning. If your ego gets in there, it's can pretty humiliating." David Burns
"Negative feedback is a way of learning. If your ego gets in there, it's can pretty humiliating. It does take a lot of courage. Everyone gives us group leaders feedback. They say here's what they disliked, here's what I liked about this session. And here's how I rated you. It can be pretty painful." "She's so warm. An incredible gracious genius. Every time she opens her mouth and gives feedback, it's always so diplomatic and done beautifully. But I'm more aggressive – to me, it doesn't sound aggressive, I'm saying here's what you did right and here's how you can ... Read more
I have tons of ways. Giving myself options and focusing on my own choices helps. I also engage my own sense of curiosity First I turn to my own sense of compassion: Their pride is an understandable feeling of invisibility and need for acceptance. Their envy reminds me that we’re different and can we learn from each other’s differences. Their anger is a form of fear of the unknown. Their gluttony and indulgence is their understandable hope to find what’s missing. Their lust and social desires are a need for connection with others.Their sloth is worry, doubt, and anticipation toward ... Read more