“If you have the courage to look at your role, then it empowers you to change the situation around rapidly. By radically changing the way you respond to the other person.” David Burns

“If you have the courage to look at your role, then t empowers you to change the situation around rapidly. By radically changing the way you respond to the other person.”

“When you’re looking at your part of it, it’s not about beating yourself up. You don’t want to blame the other person and it’s not about pointing the finger at yourself and blaming yourself. It is about looking at: What am I contributing to the situation and dynamic.”

“It’s hard for people because they’re not subtle in their thinking. It’s their fault or my fault.”

“Blame is the cause of almost all relationship conflicts. The problem isn’t that this person is to blame, the problem is your blaming them. Every time you blame somebody, that will cause whatever you’re doing to escalate. It’s a law of the universe.

“Then you go to: I’m no good, that causes feelings of shame, depression, and worthlessness. People vacillate back and forth. We’re trying to get people to rise above this. Up above there’s accountability, empathy, and listening. Where there’s not a battle”

“A lot of people can’t get it or a lot don’t want to get it. They want to blame the other person. It’s very rewarding to blame other people. It makes you feel morally superior.”

Source: The website of David D. Burns, MD | 117: On the Path to Greater Intimacy— David’s Final Sparkling Interview with Stephanie James | Feeling Good

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How to Deal With Negative People

I have tons of ways. Giving myself options and focusing on my own choices helps. I also engage my own sense of curiosity First I turn to my own sense of compassion: Their pride is an understandable feeling of invisibility and need for acceptance. Their envy reminds me that we’re different and can we learn from each other’s differences. Their anger is a form of fear of the unknown. Their gluttony and indulgence is their understandable hope to find what’s missing. Their lust and social desires are a need for connection with others.Their sloth is worry, doubt, and anticipation toward ... Read more

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"Let's develop an understanding of the causes of a problem from their perspective. Rather than go in and say I have a theory, the design thinking route develops based on interactions with users and customers." Cory Phelps

"Design thinking is another method for coming up with solutions that usually aren't found through usual decision-making processes." "Design thinking says: First off let's find out, who are the human beings experiencing this problem? Let's talk to them, observe them, and immerse ourselves in their experience. "Let's develop an understanding of the causes of a problem from their perspective. Rather than go in and say I have a theory, the design thinking route develops based on interactions with users and customers." - Cory Phelps Source: The Right Way to Solve Complex Business Problems

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I'm a graphic designer (portfolio), classical pianist and artist in Baltimore, MD. I host the Uncanny Creativity Podcast helping to demystify the creative process and creator of Funlooksfun.com, an online shop for apparel and games. Twitter: @sketchee

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