“Feeling understood at home, that’s only going to equip you with dealing with the outside world better.” Gretchen Rubin
I feel very lucky to have a super supportive family. They’re honest about any concerns and at the same time supportive that I have the final choice over my life. I didn’t realize until recently what a huge advantage I had.
I studied Fine Art and Music!! I have no memory of family resistance. In fact, it was in some ways my family’s idea.
My mom was like “Please don’t be an accountant, I’m an accountant. I like being good at it and making good money and could change, so I’m not going to change it now.” My sister was like “There’s a job for a graphic designer, you could do part-time while you’re in school.” Everyone really wanted me to do what I wanted to do.
That made me super resilient. I didn’t have to internalize all other’s resistance. I just know intrinsically that problems can be figured out.
Several books I’ve read agree with this podcast’s view: Kids seek out relationships and friendships similarly to those that they find at home. If parents try to emulate the injustice of the world to “prepare” children, they’re often teaching their kids to be participants in injustice. That’s teaching that injustice is just a tool to get what you want. Better perhaps to travel through the world with your child and show them how you handle those external problems that are truly out of control.
Looking at that model, it’s one I enjoy with relationships with other adults. I call it “Soft Heart, Strong Limits.” Making supportive and at the same time honest and authentic helps me connect with others in a way that’s both safe and vulnerable. As independent, we become our own parents and get to re-learn and take charge.
“You want home to feel like an oasis. Having parents who understand you helps you feel that way.” Elizabeth Craft
Great idea for better relationships, careers, and play. "Have a lot of things that you want to do and be interested. 'It’d be fun to do this, it’d be fun to do that.' But at the same time, be completely easy going. You want to get pizza, let’s get pizza. 'You want to the museum that’s a great idea.' Easy to please but not indifferent.” “Someone has to do the mental work of deciding what to do.” Source: Happier with Gretchen Rubin - Ep. 139: Be Full of Desire But Easy To Please
"The fear came from wanting it to be great. It had to be great. And if you want it to be great, that’s the fastest ticket to not doing anything." Eileen Myers (TV writer for Big Love, Masters of Sex)
"The fear came from wanting it to be great. It had to be great. And if you want it to be great, that’s the fastest ticket to not doing anything. "Over the years, I had to identify what actually do I really want out of my writing. Do I want adulation? When I got granular about what I really wanted, it was: the process is gratifying. It doesn’t have to be great, it has to be the idea that’s in front of me. The idea came to me. It’s my job to pursue it and see it through. “Resentment gets ... Read more