“Upholders value self-command and performance. Questioners value justification and purpose. Obligers value teamwork and duty. Rebels value freedom and self-identity.” Gretchen Rubin, The Four Tendencies
“The happiest, healthiest, most productive people aren’t those from a particular Tendency, but rather they’re the people who have figured out how to harness the strengths of their Tendency, counteract the weaknesses, and build the lives that work for them.” Gretchen Rubin, The Four Tendencies
Revelations on myself I got from the book The Four Tendencies on the second listen through:
- Questions are often heard as belligerent, hostile, or annoying. Even when they’re not intended to be a source of conflict.
- Paradoxically, those of us who love seeking information find being questioned ourselves unpleasant.
- Curiosity manifests as a resistance to decisions of authority and to unexplained assumptions of others.
- Others think a Questioner care a lot about a subject they question. Questioners gravitate toward anything unexplained – even if it’s very unimportant.
- Easy ways I help myself: Deadlines. Time limits. Delegate to a trusted advisor or friend. Self-imposed rules. Schedule. Monitor time. Write down my ultimate goals and values. Share my thinking and to what end information might help me.
- Take action toward my values and preferences:
- I like novelty, new beginnings, long days, nights, more is more, silver linings, variety, clarity, convenience, customization, observation, processes, roles, instructions.
- I struggle with rules for rules sake, rigid interpretation, demandingness, submissiveness, vagueness, misunderstandings, obscurity.